All around us we see people desperately seeking love and then getting disappointed and jumping in and out of relationships. Even if they manage to stay married and committed to each other , happiness eludes the relationship. People hide their pain and emptiness by throwing themselves into barrage of social events and surrounding themselves with people.
But honestly why do relationships fail? Every relationship starts with a promise and hope of dreams of the perfect one. It starts with attraction and passion but someone over a period of time passion becomes suffocating and desire is all gone. Taunts, jealousy, chose or lose the humdrum is same and finally one day when we look back love is all gone. Some sustain the relationship for social & financial obligations while some have courage to let go and seek love once again.
Issue is with the kind of love we seek to start with. The love we seek is weak and fickle- this love wants to possess the other person as if he/she is some trophy. Moreover we don’t love a person – we love his status , his possessions and what he can provide/do for us. Naturally when love is based on such worldly virtues its going to fade away as the reasons why you started loving the person start to fade away. This love is based on dependency and it thrives on making the person weaker and dependent in a relation. Needless to say media and marketeers across the globe exploit this and market products to satiate this kind of love.
One of the cardinal rules when it comes to relationship is that more you hold on to a person and more you possess , the more you damage your relationship. Every creature on earth is born with a innate desire to be free and that’s how we flourish. The moment you put constraint on a person to behave in a certain way that pleases you, you introduce strain in a relationship.
Imagine being with a partner who lets you be and accepts you naturally for what you are without trying to change you. Imagine being free of sense of possession of your partner and accepting that they are unique individuals. Suddenly you would see your relationship glowing with love and flourishing. Its not desire or passion which hold the relationship together but sense of freedom that you experience while being together which takes relationships to greater heights. That’s when you find your inner depths and become better as an individual oozing charm and aura which binds the relationship together.
This applies to all relations in our life – be it with children, friends, siblings. Glory of love is not in possessing but in letting go. Love strengthens more as more freedom you experience. So start with the right kind of love and see the magic.