As I scan through my FB timeline I see a lot of parenting posts. Achievements of kids, snaps of awesome first birthday’s, kids academic success, working mothers lamenting their woes and having their take on how their working inculcates positive message to the kids. You will suddenly see lot of comments applauding and lamenting women on their super human efforts in raising kids and managing the households. On the other hand you would see equal number of articles and FB updates about SAHM ( Stay at home mom- they have found a jazzy abbreviation for that too!!!). About their greatness in sacrificing their careers and sitting at home and raising kids.
Now as a mother, a SAHM and an entrepreneur I have been through all these stages and come to the conclusion- working mom or SAHM parenting is not easy.”Parenting” is an enormous responsibility which dawns on you only once when you have kids. I think its only after I became a mother that I majorly started appreciating my mother- in- law suddenly from being a monster-in-law she started seeing more human. Raising kids is by no means an easy task and every phase of their growing up has unique challenges . Every mom in the world would surely vouch for this. I don’t know about others but I can surely say that I keep evolving and learning from my experiences. I keep failing too- on more than several occasions and I am not ashamed of it. I think my kids need to realize that parents are human beings and can make mistakes too. I want them to grow up not being ashamed of their mistakes but with an ability to learn from their mistakes and evolve.
I somehow think parenting was easier back then- during my childhood. I don’t remember my mom making a dash to put a snap of my first haircut on FB. Or trying to force me to learn cycling courtesy some other mom’s FB post. In fact being socially connected is awesome. I love being connected to so many of my old school friends and getting glimpses of their lives through their FB posts but it also has its own drawbacks. Do we keep posting exotic pictures and achievements of our kids for praise from some random people who might never have seen or interacted with your kid. This whole FB culture has created a new breed of parents trapped in “Parenting Rat Race” where everyone is trying to out do others. It might have been happening in a small way earlier but fact that we live in connected world has made is worse now.
Everything from kids first bday to his first day at school is online and on social media. His achievements (mind you not his failures!!!). We put their best snaps again mind you not messy ones for everyone to comment. Are we so starved for attention? Do we really need constant approval?And how do you think this impacts kids? I believe most of them would grow up wanting to achieve things to show others or wanting constant approval on their achievements. Are we breeding over competitive kids thanks to this new breed of over competitive parents? When I right this let me assure you I have been guilty of following all of this as well.
Honestly when i was growing up my mom scolded me about bad grades or bad behavior but I was left on my own for prolonged amounts of time. I didn’t go from one activity to others to learn skills.Though my mom cared about me she was not obsessed with me and I guess I have not turned out bad ( at least I say so…..).
Maybe we need to let the kids be and stop this parenting rate race. Stop this obsession with finding activities for kids under names of multiple intelligence and may such sophisticated words. We should let the kids be so that they can discover their true personalities and learn to be happy without constant need of approval from others.