Recently I went to attend a marriage and the glamour of the ceremony blew me away. The costumes of the bride and groom, the wedding venue, the food- everything was super luxurious. With girls parents coming from a very normal higher middle class background, I am sure parents would have poured in their lifetime savings to afford this kind of wedding. All this to ensure that their little princess whom they have brought up with lot of love and care will have that happy ending- the happily ever after with her prince charming. Even today in 2017- girls parents spend a small fortune to celebrate wedding where we feed a lot of acquaintances who possibly wont even care if the marriage doesn’t even last for a day.

Why should one family bear expenses for something which is enjoyed by all? In fact these days girls and boys marry late, they are earning when they marry. shouldn’t they take onus of their own wedding? Why burden any set of parents? We spend so much money on “The Day” , I wish we spend more time in finding the right person for our children than wasting time and money in planning the ceremony. When it comes to finding the right person- we only check education, family and money- we don’t even want to wait for courtship but we want to “seal the deal”. And this is about your lifetime, about that one special person who is supposedly your soulmate.

Instead of spending time on understanding whether their is connect, a mental wavelength or similar values and attitudes we are more interested in spending time on what to wear and how to look. No wonder so many people are trapped in unhappy marriages or divorce rates are rising year on year. Our elders are more interested in getting rid of their responsibilities instead of finding lifetime happiness.

On one hand as a society we talk about equality and talk about education and career for women and then we groom our women to be someone’s daughter-in-law and someone’s wife. Do we do the same to our sons? Do we teach them values of compromise and adjustment as they too would need to adjust to another being from another family who is different from them? Girls are expected to adopt and adjust to a new family and what about sons?

We have total hypocrisy in our society- we raise girls to be free, ambitious and fearless only to clip their wings under layers of tradition. And as young generation we selectively decide where we want to follow tradition and where we don’t. Tradition is good- but shouldn’t we question its basis. Human beings are special and unique because they have logic and emotions and its about time we used it to bring about a positive change in our society.

Most of us keep saying that I’ll bring about a change for my kids- I’ll not be similar when I marry my kids but right not I cannot fight tradition. But if you can’t stand up to something right now then maybe you never can.Be a role model for change because all changes start with a small action of an individual.

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