For past few days I have been reading so many posts and blogs which give parenting tips to “newer” breed of parents. So here it goes…let me add my two bits of wisdom. After all having two kids entitles me to give some unsolicited free advise to people.
- Stop projecting yourself onto your kids: This I think is the most common mistake all of us do. When we have kids we instantly start wanting them to have everything we didn’t. Assumption being that they want same things as us. We want them to be everything we couldn’t and this is where everything goes downhill. Let’s respect that our kids are individuals and they are not projections of us.
- Respect generation gap: Our traditions, our values are nice for the times we live in but let kids take tradition and mould it to fit in with times they are in. We can’t expect our kids to follow our traditions and culture blindly. Following it isn’t respect and not following is not a sign of disrespect to you. Newer generation will always have newer and maybe better ways of doing things respect that.
- Practice what you preach: Kids are like sponge, they absorb everything around them. So be careful of what you say and do around them. If you want your kids to grow into strong minded individuals then be one yourself. Don’t wait for change to foster itself through them, be the change for them. You want them to be respectful then be respectful to them. You want them to eat everything then start eating everything yourself…i guess you get the drift by now.
- Remember that kids aren’t your property but mini individuals themselves: We raise kids, we give them everything and in the process we forget that we don’t own them. They are individuals with their own personalities. As parents we are just mentors or guides, we can teach and guide about rights and wrongs in life but we should let kids make their own mistakes and learn from them. Its important to their growth.
- Don’t center your world around kids: This is very important and maybe contrary to what everyone says. World wouldn’t revolve around them and so shouldn’t their world at home. It’s good for them to see parents balance all relations and work in life because that’s how they will become balanced individuals themselves. Be there for them when they need you but don’t be overprotective. Real world can be good and bad and they need to know to deal with realities. Rather than shielding them from bad teach them to recognize it and then deal with it too. Equip them to face the world.
As parents we play a very important role, we have the power to bring about a great change by raising our kids to be strong, righteous and humane. But at the same time this power should not make you autocratic and over bearing. As parents its important to learn to let go…..let the kids free and let them blossom into their own personalities.