Social validation

As human beings, wanting to feel the sense of belonging somewhere- be it a small group, friends, society has always been a part of our DNA. But with proliferation of social media this aspect has gone to another level. It’s unsettling this need to continuous social validation from people whom at times you do not even know that well.

Moreover social networks are fueling this need of constant social validation by rating users on the number of likes or followers they get. I am popular if I have 1000+ followers on twitter or if people like my pictures on Instagram and Facebook.  This constant need for social validation can serious hamper self esteem specially among youth who are still building their personality and confidence.

Moreover seeing pictures of perfectly manicured lives of others brings out the issues & insecurities in your life more than ever. We are aping others more than appreciating our uniqueness. I have even seen people wishing their siblings, parents and spouses  on Facebook. Isn’t there any value in face-to-face communication? Do we really need to wish our loved ones on social media? Or are doing it so that people appreciate the love we hold in our hearts? Again why do we need validation of our feelings from a larger social circle?

Being “socially” popular is really easy, are we putting in equal effort to be liked offline as well? In real world being popular is not so easy- we need to take efforts to build a pleasant and likable personality. In fact thoughts crosses my mind that social popularity could be a substitute to real life popularity. Posting pictures, copying funny posts and sharing trending videos is a lot easier than actually developing a sense of humour, reading up to be knowledgeable and voicing opinions where it matters.

Personally I think social media is amazing. Its helped us connect not only with our friends and loved ones but also world at large. It’s an amazing way by which organizations can connect with customers in a very friendly and informal way but we as individuals need to set our limits. Like any addiction , addiction to social media isn’t great as well. You need to make social media work for you and not the other way round.

Specially for young people who keep posting selfies constantly on Instagram and Facebook and keep searching for online cool content to share- there is no substitute to a great personality in real life and that can come only when you start loving yourself for who you are . Once you realize that your strength is in uniqueness and not aping others in real life or social media – you will start building your unique personality…..

 

 

 

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Title Trap

After 6 long years of sabbatical I recently made my way back to corporate world. Honestly I was not sure what to expect but I anyways decided to give it a shot. It’s been about 3 months since I ventured my way back to corporate world and one thing which struck me has been obsession that people have with  titles. I have realized that “Titles” talk to “Titles” in corporate world. Value of people and their individuality comes much later and titles which they carry become most important.

Maybe this world has always been this way – but in my stint away from this glamorous corporate world, I learned evaluating people for what they are instead of titles they hold. I interacted with people as individuals rather than “Manager- X” or ” Director Y”. Possibly this is the reason why I  find this overt obsession with titles a little silly. Every person has his or her individual strengths and while I agree that titles mean experience and with experience comes a little wisdom- this can’t be always true.

Moreover the more importance you give to titles the more are chances that you miss out on any learnings that come from interacting with people across all spheres and all ranks.One small incident stands out in my mind-  there was a huge project we were working on and there were some stringent deadlines to the project. We were in discussion with field teams to save time and the best suggestion to save time did not come from field head but on the ground field executive. If we had not listened to his suggestions we would have missed out on that suggestion.

It’s really sad to see people letting titles become an ego for them. And in my opinion the more ego you develop the lesser prone you are to learning new things. For me the smartest people are the most down to earth. Like that say, “Trees which bear fruit always bend down”

Fortunately for me I am lucky to have a boss & colleagues who are not title driven.But for those venturing back you need to deal with this “title trap” which haunts this glamorous corporate world.

 

 

Living without you….

Do you think you can live without me she said….

I wish the answer to this I could evade

For honestly life will move on even without you

Sun will shine and sky will still be blue

I will still go through all the motions of life

Though my heart might pain as if stabbed with knife

But without you my world will not be the same

Every joy in life will always be shadowed by regret and pain

In my heart I will always carry your beautiful smile

Your memories will haunt me all the time

So honestly life will move on without you

But fact is I never ever want to live without you

If I could…….

If I could how I wish I could be a cloud in the sky

For hours aimlessly I could just soak the sun and lie

But then winds winds could dictate where I go

Send me scampering places when they blow

If I could how I wish to be a colourful rainbow spreading joy

Smiling down on everyone, peeping between the clouds as if coy

But my existence would depend on sun’s glow

Only once in a while would across the skies I show

If I could how I wish be a twinkling star  sparkling and bright

Creating splendour shining in a dark night

But then morning sun would end my glory

And every morning would be the end of my story

Sighing I think to myself maybe it’s not so bad being who I am

Even though at times I might feel life is a sham

Being human allows me to feel myriad of emotions

It’s allows me to be a master of my own existence

If I could I wish I could remember to take pride is my existence

After all we are God’s best creations

Nature’s Fury

Rains pouring and pelting in fury

Nature unleashing its wrath in full glory

Suddenly awakening you to a harsh reality

Try as you may humans aren’t invincible to nature’s brutality

As rains and winds howled through the night

Roads were flooded it was quite a pitiful sight

Ultimate truth is that nature is not in man’s control

Altering and tempering with nature shouldn’t be our goal

We can’t prevent the storms and tides

Strength of nature can’t be denied

It’s best by nature’s laws we abide

If successfully in this earth we wish to reside

Life lessons I have learned from my kids

I think one of the biggest turning points in my life was having kids. Journey of parenthood has taught me many lessons and changed my perspective to life as such. Just sharing a few things which I have learned from my kids

# Live in present- Whenever I see my kids I am envious about their ability to completely live life for the moment. They neither carry baggage from past nor do they worry about future. As we become adults our ability to live in present goes on decreasing

#Forgive and forget- I have rarely seen my kids holding a grudge or fretting over a fight or misunderstanding with their friends. As easily as they fight , equally easily do they resolve it as well. It’s amazing their ability to forgive and forget and move on

# Ability to learn and absorb- Kids are constantly absorbing everything that happens around them. They are like sponges soaking in everything around them and they learn from everything around them. Somehow as we grow our ability to absorb and hence learn starts decreasing. Our egos prevent us from opening up to learning new things.

# Finding happiness in small things- As adults we aim for high goals and big things in life and in this process we forget to derive pleasure from small things around us which can give immense joy. When I see my kids happily soaking in rains or jumping in muddy puddles or enjoying dabbling in paint for hours i realise that I have possibly need to re- learn to live in those small moments

# Never giving up – I observe my daughter – about 2 years trying to talk – She babbles , hardly gets the words right but she doesn’t give up. She keeps trying till she gets it right. Kids aren’t worried about failures, they are only worried about learning new things. They aren’t worried about making many attempts to get it right .

I want to learn this persistence and ability to be fearless.

“While we try to teach our children what is life, our children teach us what life is all about”

Spirit of UAE

 

The sparkling desert sands in all its glory

All the glitter and dazzle tells Arabian night story

With rich culture dating back to ancient age

Belly dancers setting every heart at rage

The diversity so obvious and stark

Sky scrapers doting the skylines

And camels strolling in the parks

This is a beautiful land of fusion

Where all the differences just seem an illusion

Embracing everyone from across the world

A beautiful cross culture theme slowly unfolds

And that is the Spirit of UAE……

Culture survives despite the diversity!!!!