Meaning of life

” When you have a why, you can bear any how” – This is a phenomenal truth. We unconsciously live our lives trying to derive meaning of our lives. The moment we understand that meaning (why), we are energized and motivated to do anything.

Unfortunately we spend a long time in understanding what truly brings us alive and we get stuck in our struggle for existence.

A random fight with my husband made me realise what brings me alive. 2-3 years ago there was an owner tenant dispute and I was leading the tenants. Things got really ugly and I received a threat. My husband was very annoyed and asked me if I needed to move from one cause to another.

I have always wondered that why can’t I ignore things like many do. I end up fighting causes sometimes when it doesn’t even impact me directly. And I have been in trouble for doing that but it simply happens with me.

I know now that it’s all part of finding that meaning which gives you motivation to go on in life. My writing, the probono life coaching and other things I end up doing are all part of this giving meaning to life.

I derive meaning when I help in transforming world around me to a slightly better place. It could be through my writings, creating awareness or setting an example through myself. But this truly energizes me as a person.

Think deeply and understand what brings meaning to your life? It is in understanding  that, you unlock your true happiness and potential.

What gives meaning to your life? It could be as simple as striving to make my family happy. What is yours?

By Preeta Sanjith

Pleasure or Happiness

“I am really unhappy today. I really wanted that job and I still can’t believe they rejected me after such a good interview”. My friend was really sad about losing out on the opportunity. We were talking about life and happiness and he said no one can really be truly happy.His statement was quite phenomenal and he truly believed it too.

I think many believe exactly this and the reason for that is because most cannot discern between pleasure and happiness. I wanted to get a new car, I got it – what I feel is pleasure. I liked someone, she said yes – what I feel again is pleasure.

We confuse this with happiness and hence we keep trying to either achieve things or keep doing something to feel happy. But it’s relative and always dependent on external factors.

Happiness on the contrary is internal. It is simply acceptance of life as is in the present moment. The greater the degree of this acceptance,  lesser is the sufferance you feel.

If we truly believe that everything is a divine creation, then every experience and every moment is needed and beautiful. Moment you realise this, mind stops suffering.

Pleasure is temporary and happiness is permanent. What should you be seeking?

By Preeta Sanjith

HOW TO BECOME INTERESTING!!

I was scrolling down and I saw an ad for an app ” How to become the most interesting person”. I was quite amazed to see this one for sure. And the app might have many interesting things I am sure but bigger question is, “Can an app really make anyone interesting?”

“This is one of the best interviews I ever took. I really enjoyed taking your interview. It was very entertaining  and interesting to talk to you” – I was told this by my interviewer after my interview. I didn’t take up that role but I definitely made an interesting connection. So how does this work? How does one become interesting? The hack is so simple and phenomenal – and maybe we all know it already.

To be interesting, you need to be interested- in life, in people. When you engage with life with enthusiasm  and openness, you become interesting in the process. For you to seem interesting to others, you need to be interested in them- genuine interest.

Life is very simple and if you understand this, life becomes effortless

1) To be liked, you need to like others genuinely
2) To be loved , you need to love others
3) To be respected,  you need to respect others
4) To become amazing, amaze life with all thY you can do.
5) To become interesting, become interested in others and life as such.

App might give tools and techniques but change always happens when you take initiative to change.

Becoming interesting is an outcome of being enthusiastic and interested in life ? So if you feel you aren’t interesting enough, go deep and see why aren’t you engaging with life the way you should be.

By Preeta Sanjith

Ranveer learns to knit…

Did you read the title and wonder if you read it wrong? If yes, then please read this article. If not then this article might not be for you…

As the latest trend goes we have this nice what’s app group of class mommies to keep up with what’s happening in school, reminding each other off school events and of course educating each other about kids related activities happening around. So the other day a mom posted as advertisement for crochet classes conducted during summer vacations. Now this harmless advertisement triggered quite an interesting conversation or rather debate in the usually quite group.

Reading this advertisement, one of the mommies instantly said that she has boys else she would have loved to send her kids to this. Now usually I hate to get into controversial conversations but I could not help but comment that what book said that boys should not learn to crochet. Now this lead to a nice and healthy debate.

But it really made me realize that how deeply and subconsciously these gender bias run in our society. Other day my son carried a pink tiffin and he came back in tears saying mom girls carry pink and everyone teased me- he is just in grade 1. When did we start associating colours with genders? Why should a guy always like football or some physical sport? Does it make a guy less masucline if he likes to play kitchen? And these boys grow up into men thinking kitchen and other such things are women’s responsibility.

Aren’t we responsible for building our society with so many biases? Even educated mom’s unknowningly act on these biases. Then how can we expect gender equality or neutrality if we nurture such biases in our society.

Encouraging girls to play sports or asking boys to work in kitchen is not enough- we need to work at ensuring that these tasks are for everyone and it’s not a novelty when one gender does it.

What other gender biases can you think of? Will be interesting to hear views of everyone on this.

All work no play….

Work they say never made anyone die

But I don’t think I want to even try

We are naturally meant to be at rest

When we don’t do a thing we are at our best

Every morning as I lay in my bed

Thought of working fills me with dread

Eat , drink and sleep like our ancestors did

Occasionally an odd job did the trick

Advancement seems to have a downside

Now there are these huge offices worldwide

Work work work we do all the time

Then spend money to destress and unwind

Humans I am sure were never meant to work

The concept was invented by a total jerk

As I lay in my bed happy in my thoughts

Time to go to work reminds my alarm clock

By preeta sanjith

Frog Prince

On a diet of fairy tales I grew

I dreamt of my perfect prince too

Prince charming on white horse to rescue

In warmth of his arms I won’t feel blue

This prince fights dragons and scales towers

His kiss of love has some magical powers

Our happily ever after will cause envy

If not a horse we will elope in a Bentley

I was told that u need to kiss a frog to find your prince

I am trying to find the right frog ever since

But now that I am all grown and old

Mark my words and print them in gold

Sometimes prince can also turn in to frog

Leaves you wondering if you were better off with a dog

By preeta sanjith

Frog Prince

On a diet of fairy tales I grew

I dreamt of my perfect prince too

Prince charming on white horse to rescue

In warmth of his arms I won’t feel blue

This prince fights dragons and scales towers

His kiss of love has some magical powers

Our happily ever after will cause envy

If not a horse we will elope in a Bentley

I was told that u need to kiss a frog to find your prince

I am trying to find the right frog ever since

But now that I am all grown and old

Mark my words and print them in gold

Sometimes prince can also turn in to frog

Leaves you wondering if you were better off with a dog

By preeta sanjith

Letter to my kid….

My heart wells up in pride when I see you grow
Today there is something I really want you to know
Follow your dreams and aim for the stars
But never ever forget where you came from
Do everything you do with lots of love
Don’t be scared to try even if you don’t know
You will stumble you will fall
But don’t be afraid stand proud and tall
When world looks all dark and blue
Fight and find the inner strength in you
Money and fame might vanish one day
But those who love you will always stay
Invest in love with your heart and soul
Being happy and peaceful should be your goal
I know you will grow up nice and fine
Like stars in the sky you will shine

By Preeta Sanjith

I have learned……

I have  learned that you might love someone as much as you do

But loving you back is not something you can make them do

All you can really do is be someone who can be loved

Trust your instinct and true love will follow

I have learned that building trust takes years & years

One small mistake is all it takes for trust to disappear

I have learned that to love is to open yourself to hurt

But I would rather feel deeply than remain emotionless and unhurt

I have learned that best apologies come without excuses

I would rather get things right than make lame excuses

I have learned that its not the number of birthdays you celebrate that matter

But the experiences and lessons along the way you gather

I have learned to make most of the time I have today

For being alive and healthy is a miracle everyday

I have learned that what others say do not define you

It all about what you think and what you do……

I have learned that people will forget what you said or did

But they will always remember how you made them feel

I have learned that it’s sometimes best to let go….

Of all the hurtful people, negativity and all my woes……

 

Lessons I learned from my travels

I am among those fortunate people who got opportunities to travel across the globe and accumulate a wealth of experiences. Travelling opens immense possibilities to learn and grown as a person. You meet varied people across cultures, step out of your comfort zone and this entire experience enriches you immensely.

When I look back now to how I was about a decade ago….I can see what a huge role these travels have played in shaping up my personality. After living in 5-6 countries over past 9 years my perspective towards life has changed and the best part is you don’t have to try to hard to bring about this change. So penning down a few lessons I learned from my travels:-

1. Ego gets you nowhere: The moment you let go of the feeling that you are something great, you open up to learning new things. We are so wrapped up in feeling of self importance in our small worlds that we fail to see at times that we are just a very small part of this big universe. Moment you accept this then you are open to learning and growing continuously.
2. Value small things in life: Its good to aim for big things in life but even more important to realise the value of small things in life which you take for granted. I never realised the joy the first rain showers could give you till I relocated to Dubai where it did not rain at all. I did not realise how much I missed daily conversations with my friends and family till they became rare.
3. Practice detached attachment: This is one of my biggest take aways from my travelling experiences. Be attached and give 100% to relations around you….but be ready to detach easily as well.
4. People matter: When you move out of your comfort zone you will realise that life is all about relationships and connections you make. All my memories about a place are associated with people you have met these and that’s the real treasure of travelling…meeting some awesome people across the globe.
5. People love to talk more than listening: Everyone has a story and everyone wants to connect and share their story. To make friends you need to be genuinely interested in people’s stories and need to have an ability to give them a patient ear.
6. Everyone is as vunerable you: Just like you have your fears and insecurities so do people. Across cultures people are similar with similar issues and insecurities. So open up and embrace people to connect with them.
7. Food connects people: Across cultures food is what connects and brings people together. Learn to appreciate different kinds of food- work at enhancing your taste palate. Its easier to settle down in different places when you start appreciating different types of food. Its easier to meet people over food when you have widened taste palate
8. Enjoy your own company: Most of us are scared to be alone…we need friends to go for movies, dinners and so on…but then you travel there is a possibility that you might be the only company you have. It’s important start loving your own company- be it eating at restaurants or going to movies or seeing sights
9. Step out of your comfort zone: In the mundane life we lead we often forget to step out of our comfort zones..travelling makes you step out of your environment, deal with new culture and new people. It’s important in life to step out of your comfort zone and try new things to reinvent yourself and humble your self. Recently I tackled my biggest fear- fear of drowning by learning swimming. Keeping doing new and different things to step out of your comfort zone
10. Be spontaneous: Its good to have plans but you need to be nimble and adaptable to survive in this world. You need to know when to let go of the plans and just go with the flow too. You need to change quickly to adapt to unknowns – plans only work for known settings.

Travelling across the globe has been one of the best things that’s happened to me. This is just about a fraction I have learned from my travels…hope to get many more opportunities to continue learning & growing.