Lost and battered I wandered along
Tired, worn, defeated and forlorn
I lead life as was expected of me
Never questioned or even tried to break free
Then why did life play such games with me
Why did I feel so burdened and not free?
I wandered with questions burning in my mind
Answers to them I was determined to find
My soul was traveling on treacherous roads
Taking me towards realm mysterious and unknown
I wandered for days, months and years
Hoping that cobwebs in my mind would clear
And then in midst of wandering I found myself
I found my heaven in midst of life’s mess
Now off beaten paths seem to beckon me
I have learned to pleasure in life’s uncertainty
Every wanderer is not lost or directionless
Because life’s lessons are in paths trodden less
We all are wanderers trying to discover ourselves
But our journey is a destination in itself
Why find destination when journey is interesting?
Break free and don’t stop from wandering
By Preeta Sanjith
All of us love believing in miracles. We have grown listening to fairy tales and stories from mythology. Somewhere deep inside we all want to believe that good triumphs over evil and that there is a reward after penance. We keep trying to find miracles in extra ordinary but I have come to realise that we miss miracles and extraordinary instances in our everyday life.
Other day I was talking to my cook and she told me her story and it touched my heart. It’s a story of grit and courage. Story of finding heroes in our everyday life. She came from a fairly well to do family and her husband owned a small business which was doing well. Life was perfect for her and she was happy in her small world. They were blessed with 2 kids – a girl and boy and they had big dreams for their kids. But life had other plans for her.
Her husband went for a picnic with his friends. They decided to get into a lake and he didn’t know swimming too well and drowned. Her world came shattering. She had small kids – 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. What was she going to do? She wasn’t much educated and had never worked in her life. Her husband’s family wiped her clean of any money he might have kept for her and then left her and her kids to fend for herself. Her own family also refused to help.
First few months she had no will to live, she wanted to give up life but she had kids and she knew that she had to fight for them. She decided that she will be independent and raise her kids without any support .So she wiped her tears and decided to fight the circumstances. She got a job in a gold and diamond factory. She slogged and educated her kids in English schools, despite of people telling her to send them to lesser expensive public schools.
As they grew up life was looking stable finally and she was happy she didn’t give up. But again life decided to test her some more. Her factory shut down and she was without a job once more. She was going to seek another job when she fell off a bus and injured her leg. This rendered her useless for factory work. Battered and bruised she didn’t give up, she started providing tiffins of home cooked food to people to make ends meet.
Again as life stabilised she had another blow. She was detected with jaundice and doctor told her it was undetected for too long and she might not live even for a week. Alone she managed to admit herself to hospital and told her kids to manage themselves while she came back. Kids were very worried but she promised them she will be back. Such was her determination to live that she bounced back in 15 days.
When you persists universe rewards you in ways you can’t even imagine. Today she works as a cook but kids are all grown up, well educated and earn well. When I ask her why does she work, she replied that I live being busy, keeps me active and occupied and grounded too.
After I heard her story, I realised that miracles happen around us all the time. The biggest miracle is finding strength and courage in our worst times and persisting when you want to give up.
We don’t have to wait for miracles to happen but we can make miracles happen. It’s all within us
By Preeta Sanjith
Seeing so many posts about take aways from 2018. For me personally this year has been an year of stupendous growth and learning ….I learned what I had forgotten-” To live life”. As ridiculous at this may seem, I think in this world of stress and competition we have all forgotten this basic. We run around achieving goals but not on our timelines but to the ones decided by the societal norms.
Everything is dictated by the idea of what is right as per the world around. 35 and still no kids – biological clock is ticking….40 and still no house of your own….hurry up…others are way ahead. But all of us are on unique journeys, on our own discovery process and if that’s the case..how are we supposed to have similar timelines for anything.
In the process of trying to live up to expectations of everyone around , I think somewhere we have lost connect with our true selves- that small tiny voice that is waiting to be heard.
I am glad that 2018 got in my life people and experiences which helped me connect to the lost me. In this process I learned to live life too, the way it’s always meant to be- happy , joyous and free.
By Preeta Sanjith
I was watching a video on Ishakriya by Sadguru. Ishakriya is a simple meditation technique where with every breath out you say *I am not my body” and with every breath out you say “I am not even my mind” . Now this has left some mark on me…if I am not my body nor my monkey mind which keeps working overtime, what exactly am I?
Does it mean I am far deeper than my thoughts run? When my thoughts calm down, I reach a peaceful and joyful place where I get a glimpse of what I really am. Free, joyful soul meant to seek happiness. Then how did I end up becoming like this? A worry wart running endlessly in pursuit of something which resembles happiness but isn’t.
And answer came to me clear as sunlight, I stopped being myself and became a lot of things for lot of people. I stopped listening to my inner voice and let my mind run me. And my mind kept trapped me in a lot of thoughts maybe all of them not positive to ensure it has me in control.
The next question was how do I stop letting my thoughts run me. And answer is two fold- if I am not mind then I am free …no longer a slave to my thoughts. And the moment I let go of past and future , my thoughts cease to control me. They have no role in the present moment which is beautiful and joyful one.
This knowledge as simple as it seems is so liberating. It has freed me from a trap of thoughts which has vicously controlled me for longer than I can remember. ” I am neither my body nor am i my mind, I am a soul beautiful and free”
By Preeta Sanjithl
Usually words calm and energy don’t really go together.How can anything which is calm be high in energy. But yesterday I experienced it for myself. I have been trying to practise being in now and trying to control my thoughts from straying into either future or past. It’s not been an easy journey to do this because mind keeps playing games and tempting you. It keeps pulling you into a vortex of never ending thoughts because that is how our egoic mind survives.
Last night however was different , I came home from office and was so focussed on now that the happiness and peace I experienced touch a different high. But along with this calm I also noticed that I had unlimited energy. On normal days when I come back from office I am so tired and drained that I can hardly do a thing. Yesterday calm brought with it such high positive energy, that I cooked a three course meal, read to the kids, went for a walk and was still feeling energy running through me.
Now unlike other times when this energy is restless and tend to be hyperactive. The energy I felt was calm , strong and positive. It made me peaceful and I cascadingly spread that around to everyone. At home my husband and my mother noticed something different about me.
If there was any proof needed that being in now is the only way to be then this was it. Universe is prodding me to realise that this is the right path and my ship has found it’s shore.
By Preeta Sanjith
Fitting in or being acceptable is the basis of how our society works. Right from childhood we are mentally groomed to fit in. We go to school and learn to wear similar uniforms, struggle to be a part of a huge group irrespective of what our skills might be. Because to be acceptable you must be good at prescribed syllabus.
Then as well grow up, we are groomed to marry when it’s acceptable time, pursue careers which can support family and are acceptable and in that process we forget this basic knowledge which all of us are born with – ” We are all unique” and that’s actually the beauty of life.
Each unique being with unique thoughts creating their reality in their own unique way. This is what makes universe , world and evern individuals grow. Our differences support growth , then why are we so hostile towards different view points? Why are we always searching for tribes, when we should be celebrating our differences?
If you accept differences and acknowledge everyone has unique , there would be no reason for war in this world. This so called associations have caused poeole to create divides. But all of us are really same at the basic- souls trying to learn lessons in physical form but still different in thoughts.
So let’s start appreciating differences and stop trying to fit in. We aren’t meant to fit in as a part of divine design. We are meant to explore world with our unique view points.
By Preeta Sanjith
Sometime ago when I was really feeling depressed I remember getting angry a lot and everytime I got angry I remember someone telling me that it’s not nice to be angry. Today I am well out of my blues and when I reflect on my journey this is what I realised :-
1) You cannot jump from being depressed to suddenly feeling positive- this journey can be only accomplished with baby steps. Instead of feeling the pressure to feel happy suddenly, chose the emotion which helps overcome despondency.
2) Anger helps you forget depression- Though people might tell you it’s not acceptable, it better to direct your emotions outward rather than inward and feeling depressed
3) Use emotions as a ladder- Always choose the emotion which makes you overcome your current negative emotion. Like blaming someone to overcome anger and so on. It’s easier to shift your gears slowly
4) Stop being in past- This doesn’t yield anything except hurt. Best to be in present and enjoy current moment
5) Follow your heart- You know your feelings the best , so as much as people want to help you they cannot. Use your feelings like GPS to guide you into better feeling place.
6) Being happy is natural – We are meant to be happy and joyful and being unhappy is opposing to lifes’ energy flow. So when you try being happy Universe will help you whole heartedly to be happy.
When you are dealing with pain it might not seem that it will end but everything in life is cyclical and impermenant , so best to place your happiness locus inside you – that will always be.